One blogging trick that most of us use, is to check search engine inquiries that land people on our sites. It should come as no surprise that, a lot of my search engine results are questions about disabilities.
And being the awesome, I-will-answer-anything-you-ask, crippled girl that I am, I felt that many of these burning questions require a response from an educated, experienced source.
But that’s not a whole lot of fun, so I figured I’d answer them instead.
Disability Searchers that Landed You on this Blog: You’ve Been Answered
You searched: “how to be a pretend paraplegic”
Answer: Act like you can’t feel your legs. It’s more believable if you can find a wheelchair . . . otherwise, this is a short-lived pretend session.
You searched: “needy crippled girl”, “crazy crippled girl”, or “lovely crippled girls”
Answer: You found me!
You searched: “how to talk to your kids about disabilities”
Answer: When your child screams “WHY IS THAT LADY IN A WHEELCHAIR?” in a public space, bend down and gently whisper “that happened because she didn’t listen to her mommy when she was a little girl”. You’ll have a well-behaved child for the rest of the day, maybe even the entire week. (I am not responsible for future therapy bills.)
In all seriousness though, I wrote a post a couple of years ago with tips on talking to your kids when they see a handicapped person in public, which is a good place to start if you’re looking for advice on the subject. You can also shoot me a message on my Facebook Fan Page if you’d like more help.
You searched: “Joe and Bonnie Swanson Costumes”
Answer: You are filled with crippled and pregnant awesomeness. I approve 100%. Carry on.
You searched: “wheelchair Halloween costumes”
Answer: Find the guy who searched for Joe & Bonnie Swanson costumes and ask if you can borrow theirs.
You searched: “Running Up Stairs Inspiration”
Answer: Honestly? I got nothing. Let me know if you need inspiration for elevators. I can handle that one.
You searched: “how to ask your girlfriend to be your valentine while being crippled”
Answer: You run that bitch over and MAKE her love you. Or bring her flowers and candy. That might work, too.
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